Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
