If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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