Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
