It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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