I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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