Dual....:-)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
