Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
