I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
