We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
