apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
