On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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