maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
