I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Randomize
