My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
