It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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