I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
