Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
