do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
