My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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