Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
