While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize