but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
