Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize