I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize