even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
