i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Shame - the story of my life.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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