Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
