I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
