Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
