My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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