How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
