I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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