we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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