I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
