I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
These tits shall not be calmed
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
