I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
