Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
