in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize