how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
