P.S. I can't hear my feet
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
