Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Randomize
