I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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