Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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