Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize