My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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