Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize