there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
