she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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