so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
