He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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