sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
