it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
it's like heaven, but drunker
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
