btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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