two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize