I puked a lego.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Randomize
