Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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